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Asking, not Telling
The little ways in which my perspective changed with the way we changed our relationship are profound. Understanding how language conveys power and intent. I say "You need to do this" or even "I need you to do this" is not in keeping with our understanding of how this relationship works. While I do have commitments outside of our home and relationship (work, school, coaching) and they absolutely need to be met, the way I plan, and what I do with my time really adds up to making this a success or not. I CAN let work get out of hand. I CAN let school dominate my life. Etc. However, that is not what I agreed to. I put my faith in you because I trust that you will give me the space I need to meet my commitments.
One of the aspects several sources list as a massive boon for Female Led Relationships is that of vastly improved communications. If my focus is making you happy, content, and loved, communication comes hand in hand with that. So that is why I want to ask for your help. When I use "hard" or "demanding" language, please stop me and let me know. Wherever we are. I will thank you for it. I am recalling that I said "we needed" to commit to this for a length of time, and then to review our progress, and I said two months would be good. I take it back. Not the fact that I think that we should commit for a length of time. Just that I shouldn't be making it a demand, or setting parameters. So when you read this, if you could please let me know what you think would be a good time for us to try it before we reviewed where we are, I would appreciate it. If you tell me what you want, I will do the work to make sure we fulfill your desire. I love you, and I'm still getting used to this. So much of what I used to do and say was dominant. I am not apologizing so much as recognizing this truth and moving forward with humility. Love you.