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Last week was vacation, with all the challenges that comes with that. We did have a lovely time, but herself had to leave early due to a professional emergency. This happened just as we were leaving one place and heading to the hinterlands, where I would have no access to cell signal. None. And she was extremely busy all weekend, so even when I had access, she didn't have time to talk to me. It was only Friday and Saturday nights, and I had to stay "up" for the kid and friend, but it was horrible. I have not slept apart from her at all since we started our FLR. Two nights, when she was upset, I slept on the floor, but I was still with her. The first night she had sent me instructions. I was to wear my collar and cuffs. But it wasn't the same thing. It was an emergency and we weren't prepared. I might have slept for two hours straight, and a total of five. The next night was better sleep, but worse emotionally. The first night I would wake up sobbing, the second I was just emotionally dead. I felt disconnected from her, and while I didn't feel the old Millard seeping back into the recesses of my mind, I did feel empty. We texted in the morning as I was driving home, but I told her I didn't think I could actually speak to her without breaking down.
That night, I had to drive to pick her up from the station. She gave me instructions. I was to shower, shave my genitals (it had been too long), and wear a black shirt and my collar. I didn't protest; it felt good to have guidance again. She was waiting for me out front as I pulled up, and I picked her up and pulled to one side of the lot. Then I just collapsed. I don't know how long I sobbed, but it was a considerable time. She held and soothed me, slipped her fingers into my collar and twisted it, letting the reassuring tightness work on my shuddering frame. We switched seats, and she started driving. Not home, but into the city. We ended up in one of the restaurant districts, and she just looked over at me and said "Get out." You'll note she didn't say, "take your collar off." So I didn't. I left it on, and got out. We walked, arm in arm, a few blocks, and discussed a few of the restaurants. She wasn't hungry, but knew I hadn't had dinner. We had a lovely dinner (Restaurant Week!) and talked about her trip, and mine, and our relationship. No one said anything about my collar, or even gave a sideways glance. I could feel myself realigning with her. I could feel the energy of her love flowing into me. I could feel the collar giving me power and strength.
We finished dinner, and walked back to the car. It was a lovely date, and it felt wonderful and empowering to be out with her, collared. I'm not fully back in my right mind, but I'm feeling completely reconnected with the First Lady. It was joyful.
